


just like runaways

by heartbreakmichael



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Drabble, M/M, Sad, Sad Michael, Unrequited Love, luke is so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4548075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartbreakmichael/pseuds/heartbreakmichael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael sees monsters in the walls, and surely, he must see some in Luke too.</p><p>-</p><p>Or the one where nothing is the same after Michael left town for over half a year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just like runaways

"Why did you leave?" Luke asks, when the pale sunlight is streaming through the window on an early morning when there's no such thing as fear or risk. "Why did you do that to me?" he adds, watching the other boy blink slowly.

"Mmh, you're not my boyfriend," Michael mutters sleepily.

Luke wants to argue, but he keeps his fucking mouth shut because the last thing he needs is a fight. He doesn't want Michael to leave again, he couldn't bear it.

"I wish I was," he wants to whisper. Instead, he grabs Michael's hand under the covers and falls back into a comfortable sleep.

-

In sleep, Luke embraces a reality different than his own. In reality, Luke loiters in lilac daydreams of a boy with a soft mouth and cold hands.

When Michael left, Luke had gone seven months without writing a single word; now, the words poured out of him every time Michael touched his face with shaking fingertips and said, "Oh my God, I am so afraid."

It wasn't easy knowing Michael. His ups could make Luke get down on one knee and swear he couldn't live without him, but his downs would make Luke want to walk out that door, just like Michael had. But he would never come back (at least that's what he tells himself). (It's the biggest lie he's ever told).

Michael saw things differently than other people. That was something that Luke had always seen in him. It was like he was on a different wavelength. He felt far too much, and this got him in trouble most of the time. Because when normal people heard that their best friends were in love with them, they didn't run away.

-

Luke blows out the candles, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. "I wish he'd love me, I wish he'd love me, I wish he'd love me."

The wax from the candles runs down and onto the cake. And Luke has never been superstitious but it seemed like it were a sign - telling him his wish would never come true.

-

Luke doesn't like to think about the day Michael left. And in actuality, even if he wanted to, he probably would not be able to remember much other than Michael's shaking voice on the telephone, telling him that he was gone and that he wouldn't be back.

(He came back, but it wasn't the same. He wasn't the same. He was more explosive, his mood swings were more frequent. He was distant. They'd be laying in bed together, and he would stare at the pale yellow walls for hours and hours. He would beg Luke to leave the lights on at night). (Luke did this, even though he couldn't sleep unless it was pitch black).

Michael doesn't talk about his time away. Luke doesn't ask. It's better not to know, it's better to stare at the walls with him without knowing why than to see whatever horrors in them that he must. Michael sees monsters in the walls, and surely, he must see some in Luke too.

-

Michael kisses Luke softly, gently. He's up, and every touch of their mouths feels like it is dragging Luke up to his level.

"Happy birthday," Michael says. He kisses Luke's cheek, his face, his nose.

"Thanks," Luke whispers. He stares at Michael. He looks at his face, and he can't help the fondness rushing up his throat and spewing out of his mouth. "Oh my God. I love you."

Michael is silent. He's always silent.

He stares at the wall.

-

Michael thought a lot. It's all he did, really. He thought about how Luke - the most genuine and endearing person he's ever met, his best friend - is in love with him. Thought about how he doesn't feel the same. Thought about how he could leave again, and Luke would not be keeping him back.

He thought about his time out of town. Thought about how Aaron's palms had felt against his own. Thought about how those seven months had been the best of his life and how he'd never been that happy here. And he tried not to think about how Aaron got sick, but he did anyway.

He thought about how one night it was too dark for him to notice that Aaron wasn't okay in his half-asleep state. He thought about the yellow walls Aaron wanted to have in their apartment that they never got to move into.

He thought about how Luke is just a substitute for Aaron. He thought about how wrong that is.

It was not fair, but he supposed that nothing ever really is.


End file.
